Just wait...

Stop. Don't move. Don't even think about moving. Don't think about anything. I don't want to forget this feeling. In a few days (not that I'm thinking about it but I know reality will hit) I'll be back in Crapville alone, so for the sake of those times...I just want to remind myself (and this might seem kinda sad, like someone leaving a message on their own answerphone but...tough!) how happy I am at the moment. It's at times like this that I realise exactly how inarticulate (?) I am...The words I'm going to be using a) are words I use over and over and b) don't come even close, anywhere near to how I feel but whatever else I want to say, whatever the other words to describe it are, they're nowhere near my mind. I hope, one day, to find them.

Anyway, Missy...remember this feeling!

At this precise moment, with Stef next to me (albeit on the floor so he can't see this) and a day and a half spent hugging and kissing, snuggling up together and laughing soooo much, I am truly happy. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what happiness is all about. I feel so...so...contented. I feel so loved, so wanted, so special, so safe, so protected and so......so....see?? Here I go again. I'm trying to do it justice and nothing I say can ever really come close.

I don't want this feeling to go. And yes, I know it will do when I leave but for now, I am quite happy to bask in this AMAZING feeling for a while longer. I have never been so happy and felt so...settled in my entire life. I love feeling like this. But, more than that, I love being loved and I love being able to give back the love I am receiving. Harmony. Is there anything like it??

It's no coincidence that the happiest times in my life have all been when I have been with Stef. There is nothing nicer than his hugs, his kisses and being in his arms.

"And I'm searching for the words
But they don't come easily
Nothing seems to do
Justice to this
And the feeling that I have
Is something beautiful
I know it couldn't get
Much better than this"

(c) 2005