"A point of view can be a dangerous luxury when substituted for insight and understanding"-
I love this quote. It's so true. And people prove it time and time again. Everyone loves having their say, why should a bit of research or compassion stand in the way of the rest of the world (whether they like it or not) hearing it, right?
I've probably done it time and time again myself though so I'm biting my tongue. I can keep my mouth shut when appropriate but it's a lot harder when it's something I feel passionate about- e.g. my faith, Stef, music- and sometimes I slip up. Though if it's something I feel passionately about I'm more than likely to have a fairly decent insight of it. As for understanding... I do my best.
Speaking of faith, I think my biggest prayer at the moment may have been answered. Or, more accurately, may have been answered the way I want it to be. I don't want to get too excited about it in case I'm wrong but I'm feeling a lot happier/brighter about it now. The last few months have been horrible and I know I have, at times, been a nightmare to be around/talk to. Sincere apologies to Stef for that and huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge hugs for sticking with me and not letting it get in the way of what we have. I appreciate it soooo much.
I want to apologise to the rest of you for not blogging much lately. I 've been going through what is, for me at least, though maybe not for others (the lyric "Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?" [Weakness In Me- Joan Armatrading] comes to mind) a pretty tough time. Mentally/emotionally I have been drained. My head has been constantly filled with a thousand thoughts, a thousand scenarios and a thousand possible outcomes and my head kept picking up on the worse and playing it over and over again. I tried, really tried, not to show it but I got kind of fed up of being in tears and desperately trying to hide it from everyone. Stef found out what was wrong (albeit accidently) and though I didn't want him to know, I felt a little better when he knew. I know I've worried him on occassions (and I know I've worried a few friends but they didn't have a clue what was going on whereas Stef did) but is sucj a lovely boyfriend, always supporting me. Even though the one thing that could've sorted everything, I couldn't bring myself to do. Annoying, eh?
Anyway, as I said, I think things may have sorted themselves out and I'm feeling better now. Saying that, I do want to apologise (again) to Stef for being such a nightmare. I know I could've tried better to deal well with everything (oooh so close to being a lyric then!) and I'm very sorry I didn't. I just felt so... I don't know. Drowned out by everythign that was happening, I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything else.
I promise I will make it up to you. Thank you for being so amazing about all of this.
Okay, now I've said that I'll quickly catch the rest of you up on everything else that has been happening (the reason for the above is staying well out of the public domain).
Firstly, I have my driving theory test on the 20th. SCARY!!! I'm not letting too many people know about it, just in case, but it's booked, paid for and i have to do it...
Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to it. I don't want to let myself or (more importantly) other people (especially one person) down. Pray for me please, I need all the help I can get!!
Secondly... I have 3 weeks to finish college. This isn't a "It's okay if you run over" situation, I HAVE to finish by then. I'm praying I manage it. (Again, any prayers going spare please send my way!)
I think that is all the big news at the moment...
The past few weeks have been pretty quiet. I did go for a drink with Lizzy and Martin on Sunday night, which was good fun. It was good to catch up with Lizzy. I haven't seen Martin for ages either though actually, as he's been ill.
At one point Martin went inside (it was a beautiful evening so we were in the Beer Garden) to get himself some food, me a vodka and coke and Lizzy a coke so I went inside too and when we came out Maarting said they had said that it was too late for them to serve cokes (they were going to be bringing them out to us. Lizzy started to say how ridiculous it was.... then realised Martin was joking and finished the sentence by saying "They're bringing them out, aren't they?" It was soooo funny!!!
I've probably done it time and time again myself though so I'm biting my tongue. I can keep my mouth shut when appropriate but it's a lot harder when it's something I feel passionate about- e.g. my faith, Stef, music- and sometimes I slip up. Though if it's something I feel passionately about I'm more than likely to have a fairly decent insight of it. As for understanding... I do my best.
Speaking of faith, I think my biggest prayer at the moment may have been answered. Or, more accurately, may have been answered the way I want it to be. I don't want to get too excited about it in case I'm wrong but I'm feeling a lot happier/brighter about it now. The last few months have been horrible and I know I have, at times, been a nightmare to be around/talk to. Sincere apologies to Stef for that and huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge hugs for sticking with me and not letting it get in the way of what we have. I appreciate it soooo much.
I want to apologise to the rest of you for not blogging much lately. I 've been going through what is, for me at least, though maybe not for others (the lyric "Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?" [Weakness In Me- Joan Armatrading] comes to mind) a pretty tough time. Mentally/emotionally I have been drained. My head has been constantly filled with a thousand thoughts, a thousand scenarios and a thousand possible outcomes and my head kept picking up on the worse and playing it over and over again. I tried, really tried, not to show it but I got kind of fed up of being in tears and desperately trying to hide it from everyone. Stef found out what was wrong (albeit accidently) and though I didn't want him to know, I felt a little better when he knew. I know I've worried him on occassions (and I know I've worried a few friends but they didn't have a clue what was going on whereas Stef did) but is sucj a lovely boyfriend, always supporting me. Even though the one thing that could've sorted everything, I couldn't bring myself to do. Annoying, eh?
Anyway, as I said, I think things may have sorted themselves out and I'm feeling better now. Saying that, I do want to apologise (again) to Stef for being such a nightmare. I know I could've tried better to deal well with everything (oooh so close to being a lyric then!) and I'm very sorry I didn't. I just felt so... I don't know. Drowned out by everythign that was happening, I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything else.
I promise I will make it up to you. Thank you for being so amazing about all of this.
Okay, now I've said that I'll quickly catch the rest of you up on everything else that has been happening (the reason for the above is staying well out of the public domain).
Firstly, I have my driving theory test on the 20th. SCARY!!! I'm not letting too many people know about it, just in case, but it's booked, paid for and i have to do it...
Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to it. I don't want to let myself or (more importantly) other people (especially one person) down. Pray for me please, I need all the help I can get!!
Secondly... I have 3 weeks to finish college. This isn't a "It's okay if you run over" situation, I HAVE to finish by then. I'm praying I manage it. (Again, any prayers going spare please send my way!)
I think that is all the big news at the moment...
The past few weeks have been pretty quiet. I did go for a drink with Lizzy and Martin on Sunday night, which was good fun. It was good to catch up with Lizzy. I haven't seen Martin for ages either though actually, as he's been ill.
At one point Martin went inside (it was a beautiful evening so we were in the Beer Garden) to get himself some food, me a vodka and coke and Lizzy a coke so I went inside too and when we came out Maarting said they had said that it was too late for them to serve cokes (they were going to be bringing them out to us. Lizzy started to say how ridiculous it was.... then realised Martin was joking and finished the sentence by saying "They're bringing them out, aren't they?" It was soooo funny!!!
posted by Darkest_red at 10:30 PM
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