What comes up must come down...

Stef can't come this weekend. *siiiiiiiiiiiiigh* I knew it though. Everytime I mentioned it I asked him if he was still planning to come and every time I expected him to say he couldn't so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.

I'm not sure I can keep doing this. My life is revolving around something that I can't change. And when I DO have an opportunity to change it, I fall short of ACTUALLY being able to change it.
I feel like I'm walking an inch to move a mile (cheers 3DD!) here. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I feel so useless.

Isn't it odd how something that brings so much happiness and love and joy, can also bring so much pain?? I've never experienced anything like this before. I can't stop crying. (And please, no comments about me being over-sensitive or whatever. I'm really not in the mood.)

If I could walk away then I probably would but I know that I don't want to and that walking away would be pretty much the worse thing I could do. I know where I'm meant to be.