"It takes a lot for me to get the nerve to wake up every day... and what if I don't would you even care?"

You know those days when you jsut want to crawl back into bed and not get out until you something good is going to happen? Today has most definitely been one of those days.
I hda to go to court quite a few times and each time I had to force myself to go back to work- I would've much rather hopped on a train and gone somewhere-anywhere- else. Obviously, I'd be limited as to where I could go (in fact, my bank account would have stopped me in my tracks anyway) but, as usual, I just wanted to get out.
And then there's the sharp reminder of the different attitudes to things that Christians (in general anyway, though apparently not in Winchester) find offensive, whereas non Christians don't give a 'flying crap' about. See, I can understand that a non Crhsitian wouldn't be affected by it but I wouldn't have thought that someone who cares about me would be so dismissive about something that obviously means a lot to me. Telling me 'not to take it too seriously' and that it's 'nothing major' just doesn't seem to fit in with the respect that is supposed to be shown (as I'm sure it is there).

I guess I could be making a bigger deal out of this than I should (I'm tired, stressed out from work and feeling crappy because Stef isn't here) but the flippancy that was (and continues to be) shown bothers me and as hard as I try to fight/ignore it, I can't.
At the moment (and I'm praying it's wrong) this seems to be the end. I don't want it to be. My life is nothing without him. Nothing.