"I can't keep going but I can not turn my back..."

I feel so... so meh today. I had a fantabulous weekend (and a bit) with Stef, it was absolutely amazing, but now I'm back in the 'real world' and it sucks so much.
The day after I get back always feels awful this time it's worse than usual. It's getting harder and harder- the thought of doing this for another year or whatever is a killer *sigh*
I feel so crappy when he's not with me. He is the only good thing in my life at the moment. Everything else is so crappy.
It doesn't help that with my current lack of finance I can't afford to phone him at the moment and he doesn't reply to all of my texts- I know he's sometimes out or busy etc and usually he's just not wasting his credit (and I'd feel guilty if he wasted it on me) but I feel quite alone when he doesn't reply. Stupid, I know.

I just wish, for once, we'd get a break. I don't want to have to keep saying goodbye.

I guess it was pretty naive of me but I didn't realise it would be this hard. I 've been in long distance relationships before and it was no problem. Though, admittedly, none of them meant anything near as much as this (not even kinda close) and none of them lasted more than 3 months. This though, this...wow!!

As I said, it was a fantabulous weekend. I laughed sooooooooo much!!! And isn't it amazing how sexy/beautiful you can feel when you're around someone who truly thinks you're sexy/beautiful?